Growth Mindset is About Learning and Improvement

A big factor that shapes how you do in life is what goes on in your inner world: your self-talk. That’s the inner voice in your head that’s chattering away 24/7, and that can either help you or hold you back.

Unfortunately, our self-talk is often negative, taking on the voice of a harsh inner critic. But, in our previous blog we made the point that you don’t have to be a victim of that critical inner voice.

Instead, you can:

Turn the volume down on the voice inside your head that tells you that you’re “not good enough” or “can’t do it.”
Transform your automatic, negative self-talk with intentional and deliberate positive self-talk.
Harness the power of your positive self-talk to boost how you feel, think and act.

We also showed you how it’s often as simple as switching up the words you use to put into play what we call the eight magic words. “Right now,” “not yet,” “so far,” and “at least.” Those are powerful substitutes that can have a lasting impact.

After reading about self-talk, you may wonder if it really works. Can simply changing what you say actually change your life?

The simple answer is “yes!”

That’s because what you tell yourself about yourself is related to your mindset. Mindset and self-talk go together in a reciprocal relationship: Each affects the other.

But before we go on, let’s first define mindset. What is it?

One dictionary definition of mindset is: a “fixed mental attitude or disposition that predetermines a person's responses to and interpretations of situations.”

In other words, your mindset is the set of beliefs that shape how you make sense of yourself, the world, and your place in the world. Think of mindset as the lens through which you see and interact with the world. It’s the filter that colors and shapes your perception of yourself and the world around you.

Mindset, like self-talk, affects how you think, feel, and act.

So what’s the difference?

Mindset is the engine that drives self-talk

This is super important, so let’s repeat this: Mindset is the actual engine that drives your self-talk.

But mindset doesn’t only drive self-talk. Mindset also shapes your judgement and the decisions you make about not only yourself but about the people and things around you.

Everyone is familiar with the difference between pessimists and optimists. That’s mindset at work . . .

If mindset is so fundamental, you may wonder why we introduced you first to self-talk instead of mindset.

The reason is simple: Self-talk is the tangible product--or result--of mindset. Self-talk is obvious and can be a lot easier to identify than mindset: You can notice it immediately by what you hear yourself say about yourself.

Think about just the last few hours. How many things did you say or think to yourself about yourself?

If You Use A Lot of Negative Self-Talk, It Just Means You’re Human

Spoiler alert: A lot of the self-talk we use is negative. In fact, the truth is that far too many people use a lot more negative self-talk than positive.

Maybe you do, too.

That’s not because you’re weird or bad or flawed.

It’s because you’re human.

The tendency to use more negative self-talk than positive is because of what’s hard-wired into our brains through evolution. It’s called the negativity bias.

When life was really dangerous for humans thousands of years ago and wild animals lurked behind bushes ready to pounce and make us their lunch or the rushing water of deep streams and rivers could sweep us away forever, our brains got wired to be on alert for danger.

That ancient part of our brain is still with us. Its purpose is to keep us safe from danger. But in today’s world--generally safer than when we lived in the wild--it means that this hard-wired negativity bias tends to make us:

Remember negative experiences more than positive ones
Recall insults faster than praise
React more strongly to negative events than to equally positive events
Think about negative things more frequently than positive things
Make decisions based on negative information more than positive data

How Does the Negativity Bias Play Out?

Imagine it’s before lunch. You’re feeling somewhat tired from a busy morning and hungry, too. Here’s an example of some possible running commentary you may have heard yourself say. (Remember that unless you have trained yourself, your self-talk is most likely to be negative):

Wow. My shoulders are tight. Goes with the territory: I was an idiot for agreeing to take on the extra work my colleague wanted to dump on me. It’s my own fault.

With so much work, I’ll never get it all done.

Probably another all-nighter where I end up paying the cost of not being able to say, “no.” What a dope! I’m just not good at setting boundaries.

I’m hungry! No wonder-- it’s almost time for lunch.

It’s impossible to focus when I start feeling hungry. I’m just not good at being able to concentrate, even if I know I’ll be eating in a few minutes.

I should get just a salad or something light so I lose the weight I gained during quarantine. But if I do that, I won’t be satisfied and I’ll probably end up finishing up the donuts someone brought this morning. So, what the hell. I may as well go out and get a lunch I’ll enjoy. After all, life’s short and I deserve a little break.

And so what if I weigh a little more? It’s not like I’m the only one. Lots of people gained weight during the pandemic. It’s not even realistic to think that it wouldn’t happen when all the gyms were shut down.

I just have to accept the fact that I’m not the kind of person who has the iron willpower it takes to stick with healthy eating no matter what.

Your self-talk may sound different, of course. But what all negative self-talk reveals is a specific kind of mindset--a mindset that almost surely dooms you to failure.

So if you can change your self-talk from negative to positive, what can you do to change your mindset? Is that even possible?

Again, the answer is “yes!”

Carol Dweck’s Powerful Discovery that Mindset Can Be Changed

One well-researched answer comes from Dr. Carol Dweck, a world-renowned psychologist at Stanford University. Dweck has dedicated her career to investigating the factors that contribute to lifelong achievement, success, satisfaction, and fulfillment.

Dweck began her work asking questions about how children’s’ mindsets affect the trajectory of learning and achievement through their lives.

What Dweck’s research revealed is nothing short of extraordinary and revolutionary: The beliefs we hold dear and the thoughts and actions driven by those beliefs determine how children’s’ brains grow and how well they succeed--not just at the moment, but throughout life!

She has shown that the brain grows with concentrated effort: Overcoming difficulties and challenges not only creates the desire to tackle more challenges, but it also develops resilience, which is the basis for success in every area of life.

Dweck’s work shows that it’s not only innate abilities and talent that contribute to success, but the mindset we use to approach tasks and challenges that increases the potential for achievement and success.

In other words, no matter how much talent and intelligence you’re born with, your mindset can radically increase or reduce your potential for success . . . throughout your entire life!

Growth Mindset Makes the Difference

Dweck identified two very different mindsets. She defined one as “fixed” and the other as “growth.” A fixed mindset limits achievement and happiness. A growth mindset promotes them. With the right mindset–a growth mindset–kids develop to their full potential.

But the effect of mindset isn’t limited only to children. Change, learning growth, and the potential to improve are within reach of everyone, regardless of age or circumstances.

Like transforming negative self-talk into positive, everyone has the power to change their mindset from fixed to growth.

We’ll share how to do this, but first, let’s make it clear how fixed mindset differs from growth mindset.

Let’s compare the two:

People with a FIXED mindset believe:

Intelligence and talent are fixed traits

Talent alone creates success
People are either “smart” or “dumb”
Challenges should be avoided
Poor performance confirms the inability to learn
Excuses may rationalize failure

People with a GROWTH mindset believe:

Brain power can be developed
Basic abilities can be developed through hard work
The process of learning is valuable
Resilience is the result of continued effort
Challenges and failures are opportunities to strive and improve
Learning can be fun

The results of fixed versus growth mindset are profound.

People with fixed mindsets:

Squelch their own potential (“I’ve never been good at this, so I’d rather not do it now.”)
Fear trying new things (“I am afraid I’ll look dumb.”)
See mistakes as flaws (“I screwed up just like I knew I would. I’m just not creative.”)
Consider challenges as barriers and are discouraged by setbacks. (“I remember what happened the last time I tried that. There’s no way I’m trying that again!”)

Unfortunately, that kind of fixed-mindset thinking extends beyond just the person themselves: They also may negatively influence the thinking and behavior of others.

On the other hand, a growth mindset embraces effort, curiosity, determination, and a joy of learning. This mindset helps all people, regardless of age, experience, or level of accomplishment, maximize their potential, overall happiness, and even health.

People with a growth mindset:

Persist in spite of challenges and struggle (“Just because I’ve struggled, doesn’t mean I will never be able to do it.”)
Recognize that achievement takes effort (“This is not something I’ve done before, so it might take extra effort.”)
Focus on progress and celebrate learning (“If I make a mistake, I will learn from it and do better next time.”)
Focus on where and how to grow and improve (“What do I need to improve, what strategies might work, and who can I ask to help me learn?”)

One thing to note is that no one uses just one growth or fixed mindset. Everyone operates from both mindsets, depending on what they learned from their own parents, their individual beliefs, and how their life experience has shaped their thinking.

Growth Mindset is About Learning and Improvement

People with a fixed mindset are concerned with proving themselves.

People with a growth mindset focus are more concerned with the process of learning and getting better, not only on the final results.

And growth mindset applies not only to your own thinking and self-talk but to what you say to others, too.

Here’s how a growth mindset sounds on the job when you’re working with other people:

“What you’ve done on this project shows what a hard worker you are!”
“I’ve always admired how you take on challenges!”
“You put a lot of thought, time, and effort into this assignment.”
“It’s tempting to give up when something is difficult. What helped you stick with it?”
“Working through things and not giving up when the going gets tough builds resilience . . . and that helps you and our whole team!”

By using the language of a growth mindset, you internalize your own growth mindset and set a great example for everyone around you.

When you do that, you'll find that everyone is more ready to try new things, recover from setbacks, and recognize that struggle is part of the hard work it takes to learn and improve.

Imagine how far a person might go if challenges inspired more effort, and persistence led to success and resilience.

That's what happens when you function from a growth mindset. You see first-hand that effort, hard work, taking risks, practice, perseverance, determination, and grit lead to success. Success breeds success.

What you can do to be your own best coach is raise your awareness of your mindset moment-to-moment and use self-talk and behavioral strategies to increase growth mindset while reducing success-limited fixed mindset.

If you're just joining and missed the series of posts featuring the Be Your Own Best Coach revolutionary Y-PET framework on the Art & Science of Lasting Change, catch up on previous posts below.

Y-PET stands for You, People, Environment, and Things. It’s a framework for change that gives you a systematic and deliberate way to manage the many factors that can either put you into the winner’s circle of positive change or leave you at the back of the pack.