A key building block of psychological flexibility is being able to see yourself for who you are separate from your thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, and social or professional identities.
Just think of how many people suffer when they have a set-back or failure because they so wholly identify with who they are in that one context that they don’t recognize that there’s far more to them.
That was Lauren Wasser’s story in 2012. Then, she was a top fashion model but developed toxic shock syndrome from using a tampon and ended up having both legs amputated.
She was devastated, of course.
But even after she healed physically, life didn’t get a lot better. She found it almost impossible to move forward with her life because her whole identity had been defined by her talent walking the runway as a model.
As a double amputee, not only were both legs cut off, but so was her whole identity. In fact, life didn’t seem worth living and she had many thoughts of suicide.
But today she comments, “I could have been in the ground [dead] . . . But here I am, and I feel like I’m on top of the world.”
Called fashion’s “Girl with the Golden Legs,” Wasser is back modeling. This time, walking the runway on two remarkable golden prosthetic legs.
But returning to modeling wasn’t what saved her life.
It was realizing that she had far more to live for because when she dug deep she realized that living a rich and meaningful life wasn’t just about being a pretty face.
She recognized that she could use her status as a high-profile model to serve a far greater purpose: to save women’s lives.
Here’s what she says:
“I was 24 years old when I got toxic shock syndrome from a tampon. Unfortunately, I had to lose a piece of myself in order to survive . . . I only saw beauty one way and here I am stripped of everything that I thought I was and what made me . . . [but] it's not about what we look like. It's not about what we do. It's about the fight and what we leave.”
Wasser is back on the runway, but she also has become a leading advocate not only for a more inclusive idea of beauty but also for safer feminine hygiene products.
By speaking out about the life-threatening danger these products present, She says, “I hope . . . it will make those in power, as well as the public, sit up and take notice. It’s important for people to see the grim reality of what I went through. I hope my pain and the trauma will make them angry for change.”
Wasser’s story is a great example of psychological flexibility because it illustrates two key points:
We are far more than the labels we describe ourselves by
We can act in the service of our deep values despite difficult or painful thoughts, feelings, experiences, or memories.
How psychologically flexible are you? Do you have the mindset that helps you take action in the face of challenges and set-backs? Take the psychological flexibility self-assessment to find out.