Last week, we met Problem Paul and Solution Sally.
The lesson from their story was that when it comes to tackling problems, the traditional root-cause analysis or other problem-solving methods aren’t the only way to do it.
When we last encountered them, Problem Paul had first procrastinated, and then struggled to complete his assignment.
Solution Sally had worked just as hard, but in a way that gave her more hope . . . and more confidence. And those two factors helped her not only complete her immediate assignment, they have a feed-forward function, too. By that we mean that increased hope and confidence fuel future success, too.
The principle of identifying what already works and then doing more of it is good for delivering on-the-job results. It works at home and in relationships, too.
Problem Paul‘s family had a real problem with laundry. Like many families--maybe yours, too--clean laundry right out of the dryer would end up on the couch in a big heap. That big heap could sit there occupying key space for days until someone folded it and put it away.
Guess who ended up doing that? If you guessed Paul, you’re right.
Paul’s three kids were old enough to help out, but it seemed to be such a hassle to get them to do it. It’s not that Paul hadn’t tried everything. Family meetings, rotating tasks, gold stars, bribery, nagging. Nothing worked and nothing stuck. And everyone ended up angry, hurt, resentful, or a combination of them all.
It was simply easier for him to spare himself the aggravation and do it himself.
Solution Sally had a similar situation: That laundry was like a magnet for the family room couch!
Sally also had three kids who could have helped . . . but didn’t.
And she tried the usual tips and tricks just like Paul did.
And got similar results . . . until she turned the whole struggle on its head by asking one simple question.
What was that one simple question?
It was this: “When have the kids had to work hard to do a chore and they did it without complaining, without putting it off, and seemed happy to do it?”
It didn’t take a lot of sweat to figure that one out.
It was shoveling snow.
Solution Sally doesn’t remember how it had come about, but snow shoveling became a special family ritual for them. As soon as enough snow had gathered outside, the kids would pile on warm clothes, head out the door, and shovel like crazy until all the snow from the walkway from the front door out to the street was clear.
Once all the snow was piled up into a single giant pile, the whole family would work together to build as big a snow sculpture as they could. One year it was a big snow bear. Another year, it was a igloo, and then next a tall snow tower.
It was a lot of work, for sure. But everyone had a great time together. Working that hard to shovel the snow paid big returns for everyone in the family, including the kids who did the shoveling.
So Solution Sally took those insights and applied them to the next question. The question that opened the door for what became another family tradition.
She asked the kids, “What difference would it make to you if the laundry was folded and put away, and the couch was clear?”
That one little question released a flood of ideas. And, to Sally’s shock, it was the kids who jumped in to take care of the laundry.
Why?
It turns out that one thing they realized they loved to do but hadn’t done in a long time was to sit on the couch as a family, munch popcorn, and watch old movies.
No sooner had the kids tapped into this shared memory than they went into action to sort, fold, put away the laundry. Then, they decided which movie they were going to watch that evening sitting all together on the couch . . .
. . . on the couch that once had been buried under laundry . . .
. . . on the couch that they themselves had cleared of laundry.
And that’s exactly how Sally’s new family tradition got its start.
Learn how you can use your unique strengths, skills and resources to follow Solution Sally's example during The Hero Within workshop.
Check out all the details when you sign up HERE.
We hope you'll join us!
Deborah & Glen
The Tale of Two Parents