In our last email, we talked about Problem Paul. When he was assigned his first task on his new job, it made him remember past experiences when things turned out okay, but not perfect.
Those memories of the small things he slipped up on made him anxious and worried, which led him to feel stressed out and overwhelmed.
What did he do next? Exactly what a lot of people do when they feel stressed out and overwhelmed: He procrastinated.
Sound familiar?
We explained that Paul’s problem was mostly due to negativity bias: that human tendency to pay way more attention to negative experiences than neutral or positive experiences. Even when negative experiences are minor compared to much bigger positive experiences, the negative sticks in our minds and we let the positive fade away.
Although it’s true that this negativity bias is part of our “family history” from evolution, it is not our destiny.
Instead of falling into automatic, instinctual behavior patterns (the just “do it” strategy), we can exercise the good self-leadership skills of self-awareness and self-management to recognize these patterns and make fully conscious decisions about how to act.
Let’s look at how this self-leadership alternative might play out.
Solution Sally, one of Paul’s coworkers, is also a new hire with a similar background to Paul’s. Just like Paul, she’s had her share of successes and stumbles, which is common for people early in their careers or new on a job.
But Sally dealt with the challenge of her new assignment in the new position far differently than Paul. Instead of falling prey to her own negativity bias, she used a variety of self-leadership skills to focus on what went right.
Her strategies illustrate the skilled use of the Y-PET framework.
Remember that Y-PET stands for You, People, Environment, and Things. It’s a framework for change that gives you a systematic and deliberate way to manage the many factors that help you apply and build your effective self-leadership muscles.
Sally started by using Y-PET to do a thorough review of what helped her nail her best successes. She examined in detail various elements in each of part of Y-PET:
YOU: Her values, purpose, goals, strengths, and skills
PEOPLE: People who cheered her on and supported her; people who served as good models for her; and those who mentored her
ENVIRONMENT: Working environment she created to help her concentrate, minimize distractions, and maximize her productivity--from light, temperature, sound, space, smells, and aesthetics--as well as her digital environment
THINGS: Tools, systems, and processes she used; plus, the little rewards she gave herself as she hit milestones along the way
At the end of her review process, Sally had a clear idea of what worked. She also recognized how to use her existing strengths, skills, and resources to improve what hadn’t gone so well.
By leveraging the many resources she already possessed, Sally became confident that she would turn her previous OK-enough performances into A-pluses.
Sally’s ability to manage challenges and avoid falling into the common traps as Paul did wasn’t something that “just” happened or even came naturally to her. (Remember that we all are vulnerable to the negativity bias.)
In fact, Sally had started her career with much the same mindset and behavior patterns as Paul.
But she took a different route to solving them.
First, she made use of the information she could find online, at the library, and even through some online courses. Those helped, but the effect wasn’t that long-lasting.
One summer, after getting a bonus for work her team had done, Sally gave herself a special gift and went on a retreat advertised to “renew and restore” her. It truly was wonderful. But the difference between the idyllic setting of the retreat where everything seemed easy and the world of “real” life was huge. So huge, in fact, that the benefits Sally enjoyed from the retreat quickly became a distant memory.
Eventually, Sally found a different solution--one that worked to give her the results she wanted and fit with her unique needs, values, interests, and preferences.
The solution was self-leadership, the ability to:
Recognize and manage the factors driving her thoughts, feelings, and behaviors
Foster relationships with others built on trust, respect, honesty, and productive collaboration
Arrange her environment and use tools and props to support new ways of thinking and acting
Developing self-leadership wasn’t a one-and-done (one book, one therapy session, one retreat) kind of thing.
Sally’s effective self-leadership skills came over time and from using many different strategies . . .
. . . including Y-PET.
Stay tuned as we introduce you to a new way of thinking about overcoming the barriers you face and a new way of managing them.
P.S. If you're just joining or want to catch up, we'll include links to all the previous posts on the upcoming fall cohort of Be Your Own Best Coach: