In our last post, we talked about Problem Paul. When he was assigned his first task on his new job, it made him remember past experiences when things turned out okay, but not perfect.
Those memories of the small things he slipped up on made him anxious and worried, which led him to feel stressed out and overwhelmed.
What did he do next? Exactly what a lot of people do when they feel stressed out and overwhelmed: He procrastinated.
Sound familiar?
We explained that Paul’s problem was mostly due to negativity bias: that human tendency to pay way more attention to negative experiences than neutral or positive experiences. Even when negative experiences are minor compared to much bigger positive experiences, the negative sticks in our minds and we let the positive fade away.
Let’s now look at Paul’s coworker, Solution Sally, also a new hire with a similar background to Paul’s. Sally also had had previous experiences like Paul’s, which are very common for people early in their careers or new on a job.
But Sally dealt with the challenge of her new assignment in the new position far differently than Paul. Instead of falling prey to her own negativity bias, she used a variety of self-leadership skills to focus on what went right.
She examined in detail the things she did by herself, the help she got from other people, the tools and processes she used, the little rewards she gave herself as she hit milestones along the way, and even the working environment she created to help her concentrate, minimize distractions, and maximize her productivity.
At the end of her review process, Sally had a clear idea of what worked. She also recognized how to use her existing strengths, skills, and resources to improve what hadn’t gone so well.
By leveraging the many resources she already possessed, Sally became confident that she would turn her previous OK-enough performances into A-pluses.
Sally’s ability to manage challenges and avoid falling into the common traps as Paul did wasn’t something that “just” happened or even came naturally to her. (Remember that we all are vulnerable to the negativity bias.)
In fact, Sally had started her career with much the same mindset and behavior patterns as Paul.
But she took a different route to solving them.
First, she made use of the information she could find online, at the library, and even through some online courses. Those helped, but the effect wasn’t that long-lasting.
She also tried psychotherapy, which gave her insights about the possible roots of her thinking, feelings, and behavior. But therapy got to be too expensive. And insights, as fascinating as they were, didn’t translate into immediate and practical application.
One summer, after getting a bonus for work her team had done, Sally gave herself a special gift and went on a retreat advertised to “renew and restore” her. It truly was wonderful. But the difference between the idyllic setting of the retreat where everything seemed easy and the world of “real” life was huge. So huge, in fact, that the benefits Sally enjoyed from the retreat quickly became a distant memory.
Eventually, Sally found a different solution--one that worked to give her the results she wanted and fit with her unique needs, values, interests, and preferences.
The solution was self-leadership, the ability to:
Recognize and manage the factors driving her thoughts, feelings, and behaviors
Foster relationships with others built on trust, respect, honesty, and productive collaboration
Arrange her environment and use tools and props to support new ways of thinking and acting
Developing self-leadership wasn’t a one-and-done (one book, one therapy session, one retreat) kind of thing.
Sally’s effective self-leadership skills came over time and from using many different strategies.
How did she do it?
Stay tuned as we introduce you to a new way of thinking about overcoming the barriers you face and a new way of managing them.
Deborah & Glen
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